What's in a Name? or an Isotope?

Here is a fun posting from Derek Lowe, a drug researcher with a blog called In The Pipeline:

I'm not sure how to interpret this, but my wife just sent me this link. She points out that the item is not only on sale, but that I can get free one-day shipping. Time, however, appears to be running out on that last option, so I must (yes!) act without delay.

I'm thinking of counteroffering with a different allotrope. I'll let everyone know how that goes.

Update: her latest offer is an equitable 50:50 deal - I buy her the ring, and she gets the graphite rod for me. That plan is, I think, that this way I get the shaft twice.