Glad Tidings Comrade, the Heroic Workers State, the USSR, Has Won the Space Race!

Don't take my word for it. Read the story hot-off-the-presses...

Less than a week after the return of the Atlantis orbiter marked the end of the U.S. space shuttle program, the crowded streets and textile factories of Moscow erupted in celebration as the USSR officially declared victory over the United States in the Space Race.



"At long last, our great Soviet republic has conquered the West and achieved technological and ideological superiority over America," Kremlin representative Sergei Voronin said Wednesday, announcing the achievement to an audience of joyous beet farmers and steel factory laborers assembled in Red Square. "We have established our unrivaled dominion over the stars and planets and stand now at the dawn of a new era, an era in which the tenets of communism shall echo loudly across the Earth's entire expanse."

Go read the whole heroic story of how class struggle has led to a people's victory.

The good news is that our comrades in Russia have agreed to rent us room on the rockets so that we can travel to "our" International Space Station. Thank God for the generosity of the great Russian people!

Meanwhile, I'm thinking for apply for Chinese citzenship so that I might find room on one of their rockets one day.