Robert X. Cringely is a Business Genius

Or... at least he is smarter than Eric Schmidt.

From Cringely's blog, here's his suggestion of how Google could have done better that what Schmidt managed:

No, Eric Schmidt didn’t step down from being CEO of Google to take Steve Jobs’s position at Apple. I’m fairly certain Schmidt was demoted. Or if he wasn’t, then he should have been.

From a strict business perspective I suppose it’s ridiculous to criticize Schmidt’s performance at Google, but that won’t stop me. The guy has done a fabulous job of optimizing search and web advertising but nearly everything else he and Google have done has been a failure. What else does Google make money from other than search and ads?

Nothing.

Yeah, but YouTube is almost profitable, right?

Hardly. While YouTube may be operating at near break-even that completely ignores the minimum $5 billion sunk and lost in the video sharing venture over the last several years. YouTube is still years from breaking-even on a net-net basis.

But the real killer for Eric Schmidt — the bonehead move that would have gotten him fired had I been on the board — was that $6 billion offer for GroupOn.

Here’s what Google could have done — should have done. First, take four top engineers and set them up like a startup in a rented apartment, denying them any access to the Googleplex. No free massages and definitely no unlimited Fruit Loops. Google has grown to the point where it is virtually impossible to get anything done. So just like IBM did with the PC, a GroupOn clone would have to be done as a completely separate renegade operation. Four engineers, two months, and GoogleOn would be ready to go.

Then simply pay every adult in America $10 to join.

That’s about 100 million members or $1 billion. See, I saved Google five billion dollars.

Buying companies yields far more instant advantage than building them, I know. In Groupon’s case Google would get effectively irrelevant, copyable technology along with their entire user base. But $6 billion? Really?

My plan is way better.

I always enjoy Robert X. Cringely. I have no idea whether he is a business genius, but he is sure fun to read. Especially when he pounds his chest and makes an in-your-face claim like he does above. Real gonzo journalism. And I love it!