Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Homeland Security Saves America from Six Year Old Terrorist

Alert, quick thinking, dedicated Homeland Security agents spotted a six year old terrorist in the act of infiltrating America and stopped her in her tracks by carrying out extensive examinations including a full scan and an exhaustive body pat down. Thank God for the hard working people at TSA!

Now that they have stopped the six year old threat in its track, I'm hoping TSA carries out these full body scans and exhaustive pat downs of all suspect 1 and 2 year olds. Everybody knows that it is the young ones who are the most blood thirsty and make the most determined terrorists hell bent on killing as many innocent Americans as they can. Only the proud TSA agents doing their duty provide that thin line of protection between America and the horrors of 9/11.

Sure, this six year old is a native American with a cute accent, but that is exactly what al Qaeda is recruiting these days: cute six year olds and 80 year old grandmothers. TSA knows this, so they are extra vigilant when these ruthless types try to board planes in America. Only the quick thinking, rigorous, and probing agents of TSA can save America from this newest terroist threat!

Never accuse TSA of "security theatre". No! TSA knows that hard cases prove the mettle of their agents. Somebody has to confront the six year old terrorists and TSA has stepped up to the plate and shown they are true professionals, dedicated to the job, and smart enough to know a terrorist from some six year old wanna be terrorist.

Who says there is waste, incompetence, and stupidity in the TSA. This videotape proves that this agency has what it takes to confront terrorism in all its guises. Nobody is gonna fool with the TSA after this tape gets out!

Here's what the bleeding heart, commie-loving, liberals say about the patriotic TSA. The following is Maureen Dowd questioning and undermining the TSA's integrity and the ability to execute effective security screening. Shame on her for this scurrilous attack:
Consternation crackled again last week when a Kentucky couple posted video of their 6-year-old daughter being given the deep probe by a female T.S.A. agent in New Orleans.

“We felt that it was inappropriate,” the girl’s mother, Selena Drexel, told ABC News. “You know, we struggle to teach our child to protect themselves, to say ‘No, it’s not O.K. for folks to touch me in this way, in these areas.’ Yet, here we are saying, ‘Well, it’s O.K. for these people.’ ”

Alaska State Representative Sharon Cissna has become a heroine for many women with breast cancer since she spoke out about the “twisted policy” of having the “invasive, probing hands of a stranger” on her, after scanners twice showed the scars from her mastectomy and she was ordered to undergo “humiliating” body searches.

The second time the Anchorage Democrat was told to do the pat-down in mid-February, returning to Juneau after getting medical treatment in Seattle, she refused. She rented a car, drove three hours into British Columbia, took a plane from Vancouver to the small town of Prince Rupert and then got on a ferry for a two-day trip to Juneau.

Her fellow lawmakers in the Last Frontier, where people have to travel by air quite a bit, passed a bill she co-sponsored pushing the T.S.A. to rethink its methods because “no one should have to sacrifice their dignity in order to travel.”

Cissna, 69, who said the aggressive pat-down also stirred unpleasant memories of a teenage molestation, said she has gotten more than a thousand letters. The Alaska Legislature has asked the U.S. Senate to hold hearings.

“I don’t have a huge war against T.S.A.,” she said on Monday. “I have a huge war against government that isn’t looking carefully enough at the people that it serves.”

She asserted that the system does not seem smartly tailored to focus on dangerous people rather than “good, law-abiding people.” So kids, seniors and those with disabilities, joint replacements and other medical conditions — things they already feel embarrassed about — end up getting harassed.

“Not only breast cancer veterans like myself,” she said, “but people who’ve had colostomies, any kind of alteration to their bodies that makes them look not absolutely 100 percent normal. And it is assaultive.”

One of my relatives, a distinguished federal official, recently sent a letter of complaint to the T.S.A. about her experience submitting to a body search at Washington’s Reagan airport after the scanner reflected the shadow of the ostomy bag she wears on her abdomen.

Fearing that would happen, she had printed out the notification card on the T.S.A. Web site, as she wrote, “so as to discreetly inform the T.S.A. agent of my medical condition. The agent would not even look at the card. ... The screening agent then did a hand search of my groin, breasts, under the waistband of my slacks and around my ostomy bag. ... Does having an ileostomy now make you a terrorist suspect?”

She has been rethinking how long she wants to work for the government in a job that requires a lot of air travel and says she would consider joining a class-action lawsuit against the T.S.A.
Everybody knows that a colostomy bag is nearly always just a cover for a bomb being sneaked aboard a plane, that a prosthesis is inevitably cover for a gun or knife, a catheter is a lethal weapon in the hands of a trained terrorist, and that nobody is more dangerous that a six year old girl or an 80 year old grandmother.

Look, if the TSA has to publicly rape my sister in order to keep America safe, I say let me hold her clothes while they take her down and gang bang her. Security first, security always! So what with this "Bill of Rights" nonsense. We are talking security. When a six year old threatens America's security, I say beat her black & blue, throw her in isolation for a year, break her down. There are no limits when it comes to keeping Americans safe! Every red-blooded American should stand ready to hand over his mother, his grandmother, or baby sister for whatever interrogation techniques that TSA may think is necessary. To question this is to undermine the security of the nation and to become an active agent of al Qaeda.

By the way: I will never travel to the US again, nor will I ever fly on a plane using these idiotic TSA "security" procedures. I have my dignity to preserve. I weep for the sheep-like Americans who put up with this degradation in the name of "national security". This isn't security. This is madness. This is like the Joe McCarthy witch hunt of the 1950s that found communists everywhere, that destroyed peoples lives solely by inuendo and false accusation. Nutty! But for "patriotic" Americans it must be a relief to get back to "the good old days".

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