Who is on top of this story? Newspaper subscriptions are declining. A disaster is at hand. Who is covering this news? The Onion!
Here's the scoop...
I never was into hoarding animal bones. I do hoard old computer files and PDFs downloaded from the Internet. But these aren't as sensually satisfying as stacks on newspapers. What am I to do?
But this isn't all "me". This is truly a serious problem with a national scope. Without newspapers to guide the citizenry, who will vote for the rabid right wing political crazies? Oh, right, there's that Fox -- the "Fair & Balanced" network -- that's what the loons can rely on when the newsprint disappears!
By the way... while we are on the topic of disappearing subscriptions, the Onion is on top of this story with this breaking news:
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