The Joys of Introversion

There is an interesting interview in Psychology Today with Laurie Helgoe, author of the book Introvert Power:

SD: What do you think is the most troubling general misconception about introverts?

LH: Wow -- it's hard to choose. I am very troubled by the tendency to define introverts by what they lack. Introversion is a preference, not a fallback plan. Introverts like being introverts. We are drawn to ideas, we are passionate observers, and for us, solitude is rich and generative. Think of all that goes on in the playground of solitude: daydreaming, reading, composing, meditating -- and just being, writing, calculating, fantasizing, thinking, praying, theorizing, imagining, drawing/painting/sculpting, inventing, researching, reflecting. You get the idea.

SD: What do you most want other introverts to know about themselves?

LH: Your preference for introversion is normal and healthy, and you are not a part of some deviant subculture. In fact, the largest studies to date document that you make up a slight majority of the population.

SD: What do you most want extroverts to know about introverts?

LH: --When an introvert is quiet, don't assume he is depressed, snobbish or socially deficient.

--If you ask an introvert a question, WAIT until she thinks about it. Introverts think before speaking, not through speaking. If you want to get to the good stuff, you need to slow down.

--Don't assume that your fun is an introvert's fun. Parties are often BOR-ing to an introvert.

--Introverts need to withdraw to refuel. Don't take it personally.

I haven't read the book. I generally don't like self-help or trendy psychology books. But I liked the interview. Probably wouldn't like the book. But if I stumble on the book I'll give it a good hard look and think about reading it.

I took a peek at her blog. Lots of stuff I'm not interested in, but here was one entry about social phobia that was interesting:

Social phobias can occur in introverts as well as extroverts — the latter may crave more social interaction, but feel afraid to go there.

Now where it gets tricky is that healthy introverts do “avoid” certain social situations, but not because they are scared or worried about embarrassment or humiliation (characteristics of social phobia), but because we are BORED with certain social situations (e.g., parties). To further complicate things (sorry), introverts can become overstimulated in high-energy social situations (research shows that our brains have more going on at rest, so we get overloaded more easily), so if we don’t get a chance to pull back and think, we can become anxious and seem socially phobic.

In looking at what is healthy and unhealthy, we need to look at both ends of the continuum. If it is unhealthy to avoid people, it is equally unhealthy to avoid solitude. The latter just doesn’t come with a diagnosis.